Saturday, September 29, 2007

I can count to 3

I hope today is better than yesterday was with the kids, particularly Kyle. He has crossed some sort of behavioral threshold and it is icky. Every ugly toddler behavior seems to be in full force and it’s definitely hard to handle. I had no idea that my sweet little brown-eyed toddler who sprawls on top of me to watch the Backyardigans could be so openly defiant while looking me straight in the face.

At the mall play area yesterday when it was time to get back in the stroller, he wouldn’t come to me. He stood about 20 feet away looking at me saying “NO!” This wasn’t because he didn’t want to leave the play area – he’s the one who actually wanted to leave. I could tell he thought this was sort of funny and it was a major test. I did the count to 3 method but midway through I realized I didn’t know what I would do when I reached 3. I can not risk hurting my knee again so I can’t chase him too much, so the count to 3 approach was simply me demonstrating that I could indeed count to 3.

He darted back into the play area and Julie (Matthew’s mom) and I were trying to outsmart him, attempting to nab him as he snaked around one piece of equipment or another. So there we were, looking like we were desperately trying to lure a runaway kitten. Then what did the little stinker do but run up to a STRANGER and hug her leg. Finally I prevailed and got him in the stroller and then he was perfectly fine.

This is a mildly funny visual and all, but the rest of the day was as or more unpleasant. What do you do when your child isn’t phased when you take away a toy? Yesterday he even put a toy in timeout himself when he and Grant fought over it. Now, when I ask him if he wants to go to timeout, whereas he used to shake his head no, now he says yes. We’ll set up the pack-n-play today and hope that that makes the timeout more unpleasant.

I found a free festival at a local church that we’ll venture to this morning. I’m letting Dave sleep in because he’s been cleaning out the garage and when I got up this morning, he had built shelves and bought more and he’s really whipping it into shape. I don’t even want to know when he came to bed. It’s looking awesome, though!

Today will be a better day!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Two days under our belt

This week was the boys’ first Tuesday/Thursday at daycare. On a positive note, Grant was awesome and took to it right away. We weren’t sure how it would go since he’s going through a clingy phase, but he surprised us completely. He played all day long and laid right down on his little cot at naptime and took a nice long snooze.

Kyle, on the other hand, is let’s just say, slow to transition to this experience (translation – a mess). Let me preface all this by telling you that if I use the word ‘pathetic’ in this post, it’s pathetic in a truly break-your-heart kind of way; not in a “oh that’s just pathetic snap out of it” way.

In general, Kyle doesn’t cry about anything for long. He sheds a tear or two and flails his head in a most dramatic fashion, making sure we’re clear of his displeasure. Then he’s typically done.

Here are the highlights:
- Starts crying within a block of school and then cries in anguish when we leave
- Cries on and off throughout the day
- Every time the director, assistant or even the chef (he’s a cook) walks in, Kyle goes to them, arms up, crying pathetically; he’s just sure that one of them is bound to be his savior who has come to rescue him from the torture
- When they go outside, he paces up and down his side of the fence, waiting for Grant’s class to come outside onto their playground on the other side of the fence
- When Grant comes out he immediately looks for Kyle and starts crying for him (this is sad and all, but darn it it’s awfully sweet)
- Both times I’ve picked him up, the teacher is on the floor with kids around her and she’s reading to them. She’s also reading to Kyle, but he’s laying on his tummy, flat as a pancake, with his head to the side on a makeshift pillow. He’s listening to the story but has near-dry tears on his face and is obviously still upset.

Hopefully things will get better because I’d love to see the positive aspects of them going to ‘school’, like learning how to take turns and share more.

Lots going on in Kyle-world – I have a feeling my next five posts will be about him. In the meantime, I’m off to consult all the toddler books and websites about how to deal with temper tantrums (until this morning I actually thought we had experienced a temper tantrum; after this morning I’d have to say we weren’t even close until today) and how to get your toddler into a big boy bed because he can launch himself over the railing.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Poor Bert & Ernie

When are Bert and Ernie going to get new shirts? There’s the old advice about keeping trendy clothes after they go out of style because if you wait long enough they’ll come back in style and you’ll be a hip fashion icon. But, fellas. You’re supposed to keep the clothes in the closet until they become popular again.

To think I actually threw my leg-warmers and shiny lycra pants, circa 1982-ish, into a Goodwill bag round about 1986. Hip fashion icon I am not.

To check out the wardrobe in question (Bert and Ernie's, not my leg-warmers), take a gander at http://www.sesameworkshop.org/inyourneighborhood/

When I did a google search to find pictures of Bert and his unibrow and Ernie and the rubber duckie, I found a dark Bert and Ernie underworld. Who modifies images of poor Bert and Ernie to turn them into pot smokers, bloodshot eyes and all? Since I just learned how to post links in my blog entries and because I wouldn't want to deprive you of this inspirational image... http://www.funlol.com/pictures/high-bert-and-ernie.html

And did you know that there are websites called Bert is Evil that claim that Bert is an evil genius connected to high profile personalities? Who knew that Jim Henson was such a scheming monster? And all this time I thought Bert was just the grumpy curmudgeonly (I think I made that word up) side of Sesame Street’s of the Odd Couple, whose unibrow desperately needed some attention.

Silly me. I must learn to look at things with more of a skeptical, suspicious eye. Makes me wonder what subversive and potentially terroristic messages are hiding within my beloved Backyardigans.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Always good intentions

So last week I had this brilliant “aren’t I a great mom” idea. I scoured the internet (okay it was just one site and I knew the url before I even opened IE) and found a butterfly exhibit to go to – kids are free and adult price was $3. I packed up the sippy cups, Ritz Bitz, animal crackers and the boys and off we went.

I’ll spare you the details of all the this-road-is-torn-up-from-construction-so-I-don’t-know –where-to-turn and oh-how-did-we-end-up-driving-through-the-massive-preparations-for-The-State-Fair-of-Texas. We never found the butterfly garden because apparently it’s the most obscure, unknown ‘attraction’ in Dallas. So I decided that since we ended up in front of the Museum of Science and whatever else I can’t remember, we’d do that. Now in addition to congratulating myself for packing up the kids to do something other than walk the malls and visit play areas, I could praise my let’s-make-the-best-of-it-kids-we-won’t-let-a-little-change-of-plans-hijack-our-wonderful-horizon-expanding-adventure.

In a nutshell… maybe visiting a museum with a 1 and just 2 year old isn’t the best way to spend 30 minutes and $8.50. Kyle, my little routine-loving 2-year-old decided immediately that everything about the place didn’t suit his fancy. The way he shook his head and said “No no no” with a great deal of concern on his face is very convincing – it seemed that he was feeling anxious. Well, what mom wants to subject their kid to massive anxiety, all for the purpose of viewing a gigantic replica of a T-rex or seeing a lightning exhibit? So, I let him play me like a fiddle and we scurried through the museum like our stroller was on fire.

I had assumed that the kids’ area with the giant sandbox and all the toddler climbing stuff would be there. So when I decided that we’d go to the museum I knew that those would be a hit. Well neither were there. They did have the water table but there were crappy toys and Grant immediately picked up a cup and poured water on his head.

The whole museum was a mess and only about 50% of it was open – the rest was ‘undergoing construction’ or ‘we’re preparing new exhibits for you’. People, if you want to do anything for me, you would only charge me $3 to take a quick walk through this disappointment. So you’re thinking that I must have gone to the front counter and complained and asked for my money back, right? Nope, I just took a walk around the pond behind the museum then sulked back to the van.

But good news on the stroll around the pond! The boys got to see the big giant paddle-boat ducks getting ready for the fair, and I saw something I had never seen before. A woman in a very low-cut, skin-tight shirt had a ‘necklace’ tattoed around her neck and at the end of said necklace, on her very open-to-the-public breastage area, was tattoed in cursive some lucky fella’s name. All this time I’ve been kidding myself that my engagement ring and wedding band were rock solid symbols of Dave’s and my commitment to each other. Miss Tattoo Necklace has certainly given me a lot to think about.

So all-in-all not a great adventure, but I still congratulated myself for my get-the-boys-out-and-expand-their-horizons journey. Of course the congratulations ended when we got home and Kyle fell and got a bloody nose and fat lip getting out of the minivan, but that’s a story for another time (never).

Saturday, September 22, 2007

My birthday

My first day at the new part-time consulting gig went great and I never even talked about the boys except to say, "Mine are 1 and 2", which was my part of small talk when the guy I was working with said his kids were 2 and 6. So I achieved my goal of actually focusing on work and not the boys!

Today is my birthday (36) and I just got up to cinnamon muffins (thanks, honey!), of which I just powered down two along with my bottle of Starbucks cold vanilla frappucino (how is frappucino not in Microsoft Word’s dictionary)? That won’t cause a spike in my blood sugar, will it? I’ve got to get this entry written so that I won’t worry about it in an hour when my blood sugar plummets and I pass out, hitting my head on the wall and knocking me unconscious for the rest of the day. Well, scratch that. I guess if I’m unconscious I won’t really care if I posted an entry.

I hope Dave had a talk with the boys last night before bed and reminded them that today is my birthday and that the best present I could get would be a day that’s only 50% toddler whining and defiance instead of the now-common 85 to 90%. Kyle is going through quite a phase and it’s wearing Dave and me out. Within 30 seconds of closing his door after putting him to bed, I burst into tears. Keep in mind, this was with me being gone for 7 hours of the day yesterday.

Hmmm. It’s 7:45 and Dave is still asleep and I hear the boys stirring. I wonder how I can get Dave up and sneak back in bed for a few extra winks. Should I pull the “but it’s my birthday” card? It would actually be a “but it’s my birthday and I know I got a full night’s sleep and you stayed up late to surprise me with muffins and spent all day yesterday doing laundry and taking care of the kids and you’re going to take me to dinner and a movie tonight, but it’s my birthday and my blood sugar is cratering and I just want to give you a chance to have the afore-mentioned discussion with Kyle.” I’ll have to think about whether I should play this card.

Okay, I’ve thought hard for 45 seconds and I think this is a card worth playing, don’t you? It’ll be another whole year before I get to play such an absurd and unfair card.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Back to work - for awhile anyway

I’m back from my blogging vacation. Just needed a break, I guess. Thanks for the emails and comments wondering if I was okay and why the blog entries dried up!

Today is Friday and I’m actually going to get to use my adult brain, instead of just my toddler brain – something that hasn’t happened in about 5 months. I’m starting about a month long consulting gig that will just be two days a week! I get to leave the house in something other than a t-shirt, shorts and a baseball cap! In addition to making the client think that they have never ever made a better decision than engaging me, my goal for this is not to babble on incessantly about my kids.

Most of us have worked with or know people who are apparently physically and mentally incapable of talking about ANYTHING other than their little darlings, and who spend at least 50% of their work time coordinating the Girl Scout cookie drive or the wrapping paper fundraiser. Or who tell you every new word Junior says, even though his vocabulary is up to 150 words (guilty). I long ago vowed not to be this mom. But wait a minute… my whole life has become my kids. What in the world else am I supposed to talk about???

Here are some ideas for small talk I can use if the situation arises (that don’t include Kyle and Grant):
* Minutes before Dave and I were picking a washing machine to buy last night, he decided to take ours completely apart to find the source of the mildew smell. He found it and saved us about $800, isn’t that great?
* My dogs need baths and their teeth scaled, won’t that be a hoot?
* My minivan sure is a mess.
* Wow, it sure is hot today.
* This isn’t pink eye, by the way.

Definitely not as exciting as babbling about funner stuff like the game Kyle and Grant play where they chase each other around in circle and do what I call steamroller which is hurling their little bodies to the ground and rolling on each other. Or how Kyle likes to tell the dogs, “No. Peak” when they bark (no speak). But seeing as how they are paying me to actually work and since that’s what I want to do, maybe I’ll just talk about and fix the system issues they’re having.

And then I’ll come home and blog about how Grant picks up dog hair from the floor and tries to put it back on the dogs; and how Kyle is whining incessantly, asserting his two-year-oldness; and how my neighbors took home the kitten Dave and I found in our garage and probably aren’t talking to me anymore.

Enjoy your day!
Mary Jo