Wednesday, May 30, 2007

5/30/07 - Brilliance

I realized yesterday that sometimes there are true glimmers of brilliance in this house. First, there was Grant. I've mentioned his shrieking before (ear-piercing and definitely irritating). Well, yesterday he started plugging his own ears when he was having a shriek session. Of course it made me laugh but I also thought, "Okay genius, if it's making you plug your ears, how 'bout stop doing it!?!?!"

Now for the second glimmer of genius (and this one takes place regularly which will make you wonder just who I think I am for giving Grant a hard time). Baby oatmeal flakes are as light as air. You know what happens when you blow on flour. Imagine that multiplied by two or three. In other words don't do it. And if you do it once, shouldn't you learn not to do it again? Well, I mix the flakes into Grant's baby food and at least once a day plenty of flakes get on my hand as I pour it into the bowl. And every day, for some reason, I guess I decide that I have such control that when I blow it's only going to blow the flakes that are on my hand. I'm not sure why exactly I think that the results I get today will be different from the results I've gotten EVERY DAY for the last however many months. And every day oatmeal flakes go everywhere.

Kyle is getting off scot-free this time - no glimmers of similar brilliance from him, thank goodness. Now, Katie (our shepherd mix)... well she's another story, but my hands would just get too tired to tell you any Katie stories!

Have a great day!
MJ

Monday, May 28, 2007

5/28/07

There aren’t enough hours in a day to read all the parenting and toddler raising books that I probably need to. The last week has had some pleasant times in it, but on the whole it’s left me wondering if I am cut out for being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). So far I don’t think I’ve screwed the kids up too bad but just give me a few more months and I’m sure I’ll make some headway!

Dave has never minimized how hard being a SAHM is, but this weekend and today especially may have given him even more appreciation. Well, that’s not really true - he is always very appreciative. But I think he’ll understand better what I mean when I say I’ve had a bad day. Kyle’s teething has never been so bad which translates into grumpy, cranky and mad. That, in turn, translates into lots of biting and hitting.

When I was wiping Grant’s hands after lunch today, I saw a red ring on his forearm. It was a very clear ring so I knew I had to make a doctor’s appointment for him – I assumed it was ring worm. But then… I realized it’s a bite mark from his loving brother. Whew! Saved me a co-pay.

Grant has taken up shrieking. Ear-piercing shrieks that scare the heck out of us, until we realize that there’s no good reason for it, then it’s just irritating! I have a feeling that yelling “GRANT” at him isn’t the recommended approach.

We took the boys to the Aquarium today and that was fun. At their ages at a place like that it's basically just pushing them around in the stroller. It was definitely an expensive walk but in a year it'll be better since they'll be older. We were there less than 2 hours and our admission was $16 each for Dave and me. I think I've gotten cheap. For that price, I fully expected to be served a snack by the hammerhead shark or personally escorted through the exhibits by a penguin. The highlight of the day is what did NOT happen... We were in the rainforest part and the boys were less than a foot away from the lady in front of us when splat! She got splattered with poop. Kind of Jackson Pollock meets the rain forest. I must say that if this ever happens to me, I hope I can be half as classy as this lady was. I'd probably let out a stream of profanities and burst into tears! I won't even think about what if the boys had gotten hit. Icky.

Have a great week!
MJ

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Quite a day - 5/24/07

Yesterday (5/23) was Grant’s 1st birthday. It was a good day, though fairly uneventful when you’re a 12 month old whose every day is filled with toys and exploring anyway. We’re having a family get-together for him on Saturday.

Today started out great with a play date at our friend Matthew’s house. The boys had great fun exploring all of Matthew’s cool toys, and I got to have a nice visit with Julie (his mommy). But once we got home the train just jumped the tracks and it turned into a long day. Kyle was very out of sorts. I’ve since concluded that it was the Benadryl he got last night and then at noon today (he had a bad reaction to 3 mosquito bites) as well as teething that made things worse. Making it even worse still was PMS. Not his – mine.

Poor Dave came home to me feeding the kids dinner and fighting back tears. Grant actually had a good dinner and loved his sweet potato / oatmeal concoction and the jar of veggie beef mishmash (my word, not Gerber’s). I fed Kyle something he normally loves – vegetable soup with alphabet pasta in it. He didn’t want it so I indulged in a couple rounds of “hey, how ‘bout if I give you a red spoon instead of that yellow one?” and “would you like me to pour it into a smaller bowl?” I congratulated myself in both instances with how in tune I must be to my child; that my mother’s intuition helped me realize that he was troubled by something so obscure; that I could just know what was bothering him.

You guessed it… neither solution (red spoon or smaller bowl) did the trick. Maybe he gets such a kick out of taking off his bib and putting it around his leg (which he does after we take his tray off) that he wanted to get right to it. So I took the tray away and he played with his bib and drank a ton of milk and at least let me finish feeding Grant. Daddy came home and let me have some time to myself while he got them ready for bed. (Thanks, honey)

I've discovered that since I’ve been home with the kids, I’ve become less efficient than I was before. When I was working, I could actually make a phone call or two during the day. You know the kind – calling the phone company to figure out why your bill is $15 more this month than last, calling to make a doctor’s appointment, and oh… calling the grocery store to order a birthday cake for your child whose party is day after tomorrow. These days I may start the day with great intentions but lo and behold, night falls and I still don't know why my phone bill went up. People who know me even a little bit know my tendency to beat myself up so you can imagine how I turned the above situation (not ordering Grant’s cake until the day before which technically hasn’t even happened yet but will tomorrow) into irrefutable evidence that I am a complete and utter failure as a mother. Got to work on that tendency, I know.

OH! I went to get the results of the MRI and though I do have some torn cartilage, it’s not serious enough to warrant surgery. There’s also a little bone spur or erosion but I knew about that 10 years ago. So anyway – good news about no surgery!

Good night,
MJ

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Are you their mom??? 5/23/07

I got my first official 'are you their mom?' question the other day at the play area in the mall. I little girl, about 5 or 6 came up and said, "These two boys. Are you their mom?" She was very troubled. Here was the discussion:
Me: I am
Little girl: Well how are you their mom 'cuz their skin is brown and yours isn't?
Me: Because they're adopted. Do you know what that means?
Little girl: No
Me: Well people can become mommies and daddies in more than one way. Sometimes babies come out of their mommy's tummies and sometimes babies are born in mommy's heart.
Little girl: looked at me like I was smoking crack
Little girl's mom: Lulebelle (or whatever)! Come on!
Me: She's not bothering me. As long as you're comfortable leaving the explanation to me.
Then she rushed her daughter away. I understand that she was uncomfortable and probably embarrassed though I didn't see any need to be. Now, she should have been uncomfortable if I had responded:
Me: Well sometimes a mommy and daddy lay together in a bed and have a pillow fight, then 9 months later out pops a baby.

Of course I never would have done that, but I got quite a kick out of imagining (that's a really funny looking word when you type it) the conversation. I realize I have to do more research on how to respond to these kinds of questions, which will become even more important as the boys get older and are listening to how I respond.

I head to the doctor this afternoon to talk about my knee and what the MRI showed. I'll be taking the boys with me which might work in my favor since it might encourage the staff to get me in and get me out fast! Of course I probably won't hear a word the doctor says because I'll be too busy worrying about Kyle breaking the $500 model of the knee cap that will no doubt be at a perfect height for his little mitts to grab!

Enjoy your day!
MJ

Nursery rhymes - 5/23/07

First, a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Grant today!!!! I heard a quote yesterday about parenthood that I'm guessing every parent or anyone with kids in their lives can relate to. It was something like, "The days often pass slowly, but the years fly by." We are having his party on Saturday. He won't touch any food except baby food so I'm expecting him to not even taste his birthday cake though no doubt it will be smeared all over him!

I bought a new CDof nursery rhyme songs for us to listen to in the car and while I absolutely LOVE the Barnyard Dance song, some of the others are downright scary. What ever happened to Old McDonald. Here we are trying to surround the boys with wholesome entertainment and I hear things like...
The maid was in the garden, hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose

That's from Sing a Song of Sixpence. I'll spare you all the lyrics, but it's clearly an old song against the royalty of England. You know the one - it's about the blackbirds being baked into a pie for the king. Not to mention the fact that I don't have a clue what a sixpence is.
Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest scooping up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head
Now, I already have enough trouble with Kyle whacking people (Grant) on the head - I certainly don't need to provide a soundtrack for him! I might as well just let him watch CSI!
MJ

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Joys of Boys? - 5/21/07

When I started the adoption process back in 2005, I had the option of requesting a baby girl. So many people told me that as a single woman, I really needed to adopt a girl and that it would just be too hard for a single woman to raise a boy. I did some soul-searching and decided that either gender has it's challenges and that it didn't matter. Less than two years later, I'm married with two boys. They are so sweet and cute and I just want to squeeze them all the time!


But then... I snapped this picture from outside the window. I was looking at some pictures the other day and found it. It's taken at a weird angle through a window and screen and I almost deleted it. Then I looked at what each boy was doing and thought, "Oh. My. God. It's only a matter of time before I have two boys running around the house making farting noises with their armpits (not to mention the real thing)." When I post it here it's even harder to see but in a nutshell, Grant has his face smooshed against the window licking it and Kyle has his finger in his nose. Sigh.




I wouldn't have it any other way!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

When did...? - 5/20/07

Grant is almost a year old and I'm constantly trying to remember (and Dave is asking me) what Kyle was eating at this age, when did Kyle try XYZ, when did Kyle eat yogurt, what was Kyle doing at this age. Keep in mind that Kyle is only 10 months older than Grant, so it's really not that long ago when Kyle was going through every phase that Grant is. And yet I can't remember anything! I NEVER understood why my friends always said, "Oh geez, I can't remember" when I asked questions like, "When did Anna start eating bread?" I thought, "What do you mean you don't remember?!?!? You call yourself a parent?!?!?"

Now I understand! And if I can't even remember and my kids are less than a year apart, it's a wonder more of my friends didn't laugh in my face.

Dave and the boys went to a street festival today with Uncle Bobby and Aunt Gina and they had a wonderful time. It was one Dave and I took Kyle to last year. Who would have ever thought that one year later we'd be taking TWO kids?!? I couldn't go because of my knee so I stayed here and read my book and just took it easy (great book - The Known World by Edward P. Jones). As everyone knows, the best part of a festival is the junky food you can spend a fortune on, right? Since a funnel cake would have been too hard to transport, Dave got me some candied pecans - yummm!

I've been told I need to start posting pictures. Grant's crib is in the room where our main PC is so managing pictures has been next to impossible for the last several months, but I'll do my best. No promises.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Employment status? - 5/19/07

Some perspective today... I have had a successful career for 15 years and operated in a very independent way in all aspects of my life for as long as I can remember. Leaving my career to stay home and raise the boys, while the right decision, has left me horribly confused when filling out paperwork at the doctor's office!

I went today for an MRI of my knee and had to get a tutorial from the lady at the front desk on what to fill out in the insurance section. This was always such a simple thing - I was the patient and it was my insurance. Any form I filled out was totally related to me. Now it's not about me anymore. Filling out these forms highlighted to me just how different things are!

First was the "employment status" section. Here were the choices on the form:
1) employed; 2) retired; 3) unemployed; 4) other. Where was the choice for stay-at-home-mom (abbreviated SAHM)? I could rule out the second choice, retired, immediately. I guess I feel stuck between employed and unemployed. How can I, with a straight face, check "unemployed" when I am doing the single hardest job I have ever done? I couldn't bring myself to do it so I checked other and wrote stay-at-home-mom. Maybe checking the 3rd option wouldn't be such a big deal if I had never had a career and started having kids at 20 and hadn't gotten so much of my identity from my career, but I might have to start my own resistance movement of women who simply refuse to check unemployed even though they are not in the professional workforce and don't actually get paid!

And second was the insurance stuff. I learned from the receptionist that Dave is the 'primary' so I'm supposed to put his info in the insurance section.

Three weeks ago this would have triggered all kinds of emotions in me about the move from career to full-time mom and the adjustments and all that. But I'm happy to report that it only triggered an emotion or two and made me a bit reflective. In a good way, though. I came home from the MRI to the 3 fabulous men in my life playing on the living room floor. What I saw and heard when I came through the door makes every bit of the adjustment worthwhile. From Kyle: Mommeeeee! From Grant: a growl and a smile. From Dave: Hi honey! What I saw was Kyle and Grant coming toward me, my husband laying on the floor smiling and a living room with every toy we own dumped on the floor. It is a good day.

Friday, May 18, 2007

End of week 4 - 5/18/07

Well, I've been home with the kids for 4 weeks now and I'd say things are going pretty well overall. I've only had 3 'resume' days. That is a day when I think, "Okay, how long will it take me to get my resume updated?" Three days out of 20 is a ratio I can live with.

Kyle and Grant have never spent so much time together and they've been negotiating their interactions and getting used to each other. Translation: Grant went after every toy Kyle was playing with and Kyle either tried to bite or hit him. Let's just say that Kyle got to know where the time-out spot is. Great news, though, is that we're now having full days where there are no attempted bites and no hitting! There's a glimmer of hope!

Grant now pulls himself up on everything, and he thinks he's rather funny when he does it. Laughter turns to screams, though, when he wants to sit back down but can't figure out how to do it.

Kyle is a hoot these days. He adds new words to his vocabulary every day. Of course, they are words that only Dave and I understand but that just makes them extra cute. Today's word was 'wall' which is just 'wah'. Which also works for water and waffle ;-)

Dave is putting up a shed in the backyard in hopes of freeing up some space in the garage. Neither Dave nor I are gifted with organizational skills and constantly fight clutter, including in the garage. He's so great with the kids and with most of the house stuff which takes up all of our time, but I love for him to have a project to work on!

Molly (yellow lab) and Katie (shepherd mix) love having us home every day. Well, mostly. I'm not sure what they would tell us if they could talk. Let's just say that Kyle loves to give the dogs hugs and so does Grant. The dogs are great with the boys, but I can almost hear Molly saying, "I just want to sleep and here come the little fuzz heads." Katie is always in the middle of everything and usually likes any and all attention.

Speaking of Katie an unfortunate thing happened yesterday afternoon. Well, it was mostly unfortunate for the poor rabbit it happened to. And for me who was very freaked out about it. And for Dave who had to clean up the aftermath. Well, and for Kyle and Grant who were going to play in the backyard but couldn't after the 'incident'. And for Katie who had to get a bath. Dave hasn't run his remote control car for the dogs to chase in awhile and Katie apparently decided that, while not as colorful as the RC car, the bunny would just have to do.

So this was my first official blog post. I have no idea what my goal is for the blog just yet. I'm thinking it will evolve into whatever it's meant to be!