Some perspective today... I have had a successful career for 15 years and operated in a very independent way in all aspects of my life for as long as I can remember. Leaving my career to stay home and raise the boys, while the right decision, has left me horribly confused when filling out paperwork at the doctor's office!
I went today for an MRI of my knee and had to get a tutorial from the lady at the front desk on what to fill out in the insurance section. This was always such a simple thing - I was the patient and it was my insurance. Any form I filled out was totally related to me. Now it's not about me anymore. Filling out these forms highlighted to me just how different things are!
First was the "employment status" section. Here were the choices on the form:
1) employed; 2) retired; 3) unemployed; 4) other. Where was the choice for stay-at-home-mom (abbreviated SAHM)? I could rule out the second choice, retired, immediately. I guess I feel stuck between employed and unemployed. How can I, with a straight face, check "unemployed" when I am doing the single hardest job I have ever done? I couldn't bring myself to do it so I checked other and wrote stay-at-home-mom. Maybe checking the 3rd option wouldn't be such a big deal if I had never had a career and started having kids at 20 and hadn't gotten so much of my identity from my career, but I might have to start my own resistance movement of women who simply refuse to check unemployed even though they are not in the professional workforce and don't actually get paid!
And second was the insurance stuff. I learned from the receptionist that Dave is the 'primary' so I'm supposed to put his info in the insurance section.
Three weeks ago this would have triggered all kinds of emotions in me about the move from career to full-time mom and the adjustments and all that. But I'm happy to report that it only triggered an emotion or two and made me a bit reflective. In a good way, though. I came home from the MRI to the 3 fabulous men in my life playing on the living room floor. What I saw and heard when I came through the door makes every bit of the adjustment worthwhile. From Kyle: Mommeeeee! From Grant: a growl and a smile. From Dave: Hi honey! What I saw was Kyle and Grant coming toward me, my husband laying on the floor smiling and a living room with every toy we own dumped on the floor. It is a good day.
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