Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Polka Palace in Cheyenne - 8/28/07

I love The Backyardigans. There must be something kind of 'off' in my little brain that this show makes me really happy. I can watch the same episodes repeatedly and not mind and last night I actually searched the internet for lyrics to our favorite episode. Favorite episode is the Polka Palace Party, by the way, and the song in question is Feeding Time.

I discovered, thanks to google, that Dave and I are merely two of thousands who love these little characters. For those of you who don’t know, they are 5 friends (a moose, a ladybug, a kangaroo-type, a penguin and an I-have-no-idea-what) who play in their backyard and have these great adventures in their imaginations. I found a blog post about how the songs get stuck in the blogger’s head and it had almost 300 comments. So, see? We aren’t the only ones.

Okay, okay, you’re probably on the edge of your seat wondering what the polka episode is about. Tyrone the moose and his pal, Sherman (the worm) have to get to the Polka Palace in Cheyenne by sundown so that Sherman can get to the surprise birthday party for his brother, Herman. Tyrone plays the tuba and loves polka music. He and Sherman set out and along the way meet and pick up the other friends who all play different music and what do you know they all love polka music. Their adventure heading out west leads to the heartbreaking development of their raft going over a waterfall with all their instruments (no worries – the buddies jumped to shore a second before the sad development). But also no worries – magically their instruments were waiting for them at the Polka Palace when they got there.

And you’re also no doubt wondering what the song is about. Pablo, the penguin, happens upon the other characters when he’s chasing a trio of runaway horses. They help him wrangle them (thanks to a toot from Tyrone’s tuba) so he can feed them, hence the song. I’ve turned it into quite a production for Kyle and Grant during mealtimes. I’m trying not to be bothered by the looks they give me as I’m yeehawing and clapping like I’m at a hoedown.

Who knew I could write four paragraphs about these little buddies? It’s going to be a sad day when the boys tire of The Backyardigans; Dave and I will then have to sneak the episodes after they go to bed. We are a wild and crazy couple if ever there was one.

Monday, August 27, 2007

No blinding sunshine here - 8/27/07

I don't have anything terribly amusing to write about so I haven't written anything in days, but I didn't start blogging so that I can be a laugh riot all the time.

It’s been four months since I left my career to stay home with the boys. Initially it was a hard transition and I was depressed, but around week 7 or 8 I started liking it. Then I had knee surgery which set me back considerably. I’ve been nicely mobile for a couple of weeks and yet find myself feeling very down, wondering if I’m cut out to be a stay-at-home mom.

I was talking about being discouraged to a friend the other day and she said, “I wouldn’t wish the age of your guys on anyone.” The boys are 24 months and 15 months, by the way. This gave me a lot of comfort because I realize that not only are these tough ages, but they are exponentially more difficult because they are 10 months apart. They are at ages where I’d like to be able to engage one of them at a time in something. Coloring, playing with a train, whatever. Everything turns into a competition for a) whatever the object or activity is; and b) my attention.

It would be great if I could engage both of them in the same thing, but given their different developmental points, this is a challenge for the same reasons I mentioned above. I do believe that this will get better, but right now it’s frustrating.

Grant is a very cute little walker. He still prefers to hold a hand, but he’ll venture off on his own sometimes. He kind of looks like a wobbly mummy – very cute! He can now show us where his ears, eyes, nose, tongue and mouth are, whereas a week ago he pointed to his ears no matter what.

Kyle gets called clown and monkey all day long depending on what kinds of silliness he’s up to. Jumping, flopping on the floor, flopping on mommy and daddy, climbing on everything, laughing, shouting and just making us laugh.

Okay, so after my first several paragraphs, those last two helped put things in perspective and improved my mood a bit. I’m still not the ray of blinding sunshine that I always am (try to stop laughing), but it’s an improvement.

Friday, August 24, 2007

What a failure - 8/24/07

I think I need to cancel my subscription to a parenting magazine I get. There are some good tips in it, but plenty of things I have found silly (and of course I didn't make notes or rip out pages so I can't enumerate them here). And if I took it all seriously I could convince myself I'm a parental failure.

Am I the only mom who doesn't care if stains set in on bibs? The article started with, "You need to presoak major stains on bibs..." Huh? I do? And all this time I had no idea that I need to do that. What kind of mom am I that I am satisfied with the bib being clean but don't care that the set in stains make it look like a multi-colored map of the world? Disgraceful.

And did you know that our kids need to see a dentist by the time they are one-year-old?!?!? That's the first time I'd ever heard that and it sounds quite ridiculous to me. How 'bout let's wait until the kids have a few more teeth, huh? Kyle had quite a grill on him by his first birthday, but there is no way I would have taken him to the dentist on his first birthday. I obviously don't care that my boys will undoubtedly end up little snaggle-tooth rejects because I waited until they were over two to visit a dentist. What a dreadful parent.

Not to mention how the magazine treats adoption topics, but that's another story.

I'm off to rouse the short people. Our friend Matthew is coming over this morning to play in the backyard. Well, I guess I'd better go get the backyard ready before the kids get up.

Enjoy your day,
Mary Jo

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Fashion tips - 8/22/07

The boys and I just got back from a mall we hadn't walked around before and they loved it - very colorful and bright with a lot going on. It didn't hurt that they got to eat Rold Gold pretzel sticks as we strolled.

We stopped outside the Rainforest Cafe where there is a little pond with steam and a mechanical crocodile that periodically moves, opens his mouth and growls. We sat there for a good five minutes, the boys enthralled, until Kyle actually noticed the big mouth opening and the giant teeth on the crocodile. And that was the end of that - we hightailed it out of there before a full terror meltdown could happen.

I feel old and irritated when I go by clothing stores these days. How did t-shirts that say things like this become popular?
"I'm not shy, I just don't like you"
"I'm popular, you're not"
"I am so out of your league"

Here are some of my ideas to replace them:
"I'm a jerk and wouldn't blame you if you didn't like me"
"I'm popular but that probably won't matter in the real world"
"My self-esteem is actually low - I just fake it"

I'd also like to propose a few fashion suggestions for the kids as they head back to school.
1) If I can read the size on the label of your bra, your t-shirt is too tight.
2) If I can see the hairline of your nether regions, your pants are too low AND you need some underwear.
3) If I can see your butt crack or the tattoo you have that points the way, your pants are too low.
4) The world does not need to see your stomach.
5) Don't wear jerky t-shirts.
6) Fellas, pull up your pants.

Happy back-to-school shopping!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Letter to toy makers - 8/20/07

Dear Fisher Price and every other toy maker who makes it impossible to get the toys out of their packaging,

This has gotten out of hand. I know you’re worried about lawsuits and all that, but enough is enough. The toy only has seven parts and weighs 12 ounces for crying out loud – 34 twist ties, screws, pieces of tape and plastic is a bit much. I have come up with some warning / guidelines for assembly that I think you should add to your packaging.

Warning #1: Do not say to your kids, “Look what I have for you, honey!” until you have the toy successfully out of its package. Removing the 34 twist ties, screws, tape and plastic will take you at least 45 minutes and your kid will lose their mind if you dangle it in front of them and then withhold it for nearly an hour.

Warning #2: Do not attempt when children are present. We have designed this task to make even the purest of tongue cuss at least six times. Unless a) profanity is a regular occurrence in your house so it doesn’t matter anyway; or b) you want junior to drop an f-bomb on the first day of preschool, it’s better that they are out of the house.

Warning #3: Do not use alcoholic beverages or drugs while attempting to do this. You’ll need to save that for after you have freed the said toy and need some chemical relief.

Warning #4: Use great care with the industrial-strength twist ties that we insist on twisting at least 14 times. Once you’ve untwisted the ties, don’t try to yank them hard through the little holes on the box as you are likely to hit yourself in the face when they finally come through.

Warning #5: If you are wondering why we have attached each Little People characters on the circus train using five twist ties around both their necks and their feet, you obviously haven’t seen Toy Story. We simply can’t risk the liability of the toys staging any sort of revolt or adventure while in transit.

Stop the insanity, please!

Yours truly,
A frustrated customer

Friday, August 17, 2007

Mission accomplished - 8/18/07

Today’s mission… find a harmonica. I’ve always wanted to play the harmonica but never had a reason to do it. I’m trying to learn that sometimes I can do things just because. I don’t always need to have a grand, forward-thinking reason. I don’t need to be scheduled to play at the opening ceremony for next year’s redneck Olympics in order to learn harmonica.

So where does anyone in their right mind go when they need something? You got it – Walmart. I’m not talking the little Walmart out in the sticks; I’m talking the super-duper, sushi-serving Walmart in the big city that should have everything. They don’t carry harmonicas. Two of the four employees I asked didn’t even know what a harmonica was (though they assured me once I educated them that no, they didn’t carry them).

Next try… Brook Mays, whose website describes them as “the oldest and largest full-line musical instrument dealer in the USA.” They don’t carry harmonicas. Huh? I wouldn’t expect them to have a massive harmonica department but for Pete’s sake how about a basic harmonica. They directed me to The Guitar Center.

I called there and confirmed that they had harmonicas. The heavy metal hold music almost swayed me from my harmonic goal, but I soldiered on. I had visions in my head of the clientele in the store. Not ugly or freakish people – just people who hear the beauty in heavy metal music. As I pulled up to the store I wondered if mine was the parking lot’s inaugural minivan, if my double stroller was the store’s first. Once in the store, I decided that both were very real possibilities.

Imagine if you will… you are in your favorite store and right through the front door comes a tortoise in a clown suit. Unless your favorite store is the souvenir shop at either the zoo or a circus, that’s going to seem a little freakish. So there I was, the freak at the guitar shop. Amid the sea of black – black shirts, black leather playing gloves, black music stands – there I was with my ponytail in a baseball cap with the USGA logo on it, a diaper bag on my shoulder and my two toddlers in the stroller. The good news is that they had the harmonica I was looking for. After explaining to Sloppy Joe (that’s actually what was on his nametag) that I didn’t want to be on their mailing list, I became the proud new owner of a harmonica.

Mission accomplished.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

My little yappers - 8/17/07

If I hear NO or MINE one more time I think I might have to club myself in the head with a Tonka truck. Nobody told me that something magical happens the day a kid turns two. I don't mean whimsical fairy and sunshine magic; I mean dark sinister toddler magic. Yes, I realize both boys have colds and aren't feeling their best, but let's not pretend that's all this is about.

These last few days Kyle, who turned 2 ten days ago, has moments when he turns into an angry little troll (or a small yappy dog - take your pick) guarding his bridge. His bridge being whatever toy or book or section of floor he has decided is off limits to Grant. Yap yap yap. And Grant does pretty much the same thing, so I end up with two yippy dogs barking at each other until I try to break it up and try to divert someone.

They've become hip to this and mostly will not be swayed. Then 1 minute later they are having a race pushing trucks around the house, giggling the whole time.

"NO!" has become Kyle's stock response for most questions or comments. I've tried to explain to him that his NO will carry much more weight if he actually listens to what is being said or asked before answering, but he hasn't bought into it. When we were in the car this morning he saw a bird and commented on it. So then I said, "Oh, do you see th.." "NO!"

At least when I was working people generally let me finish what I was saying before responding! Oh well - I'll take it.

Enjoy your day. I hear the little people stirring.
MJ

My brain, a scary place - 8/16/07

What does today hold? Well, I've been tossing and turning since 4, I've heard Kyle over the monitor in a state of semi-sleep for a half hour, and Dave and I got up to Molly's poop on the floor. Similar to the old how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, you may ask yourself, "How much poo could a yellow lab poo if a yellow lab could poo poo?" It can. The answer is alot.

And then to let you into the workings of my brain, I laid back down in bed which is when the aforementioned tongue-twister popped in my head. Then I started wondering how many words in the English language are both the noun and the verb related to itself. In other words... words that could fit into the sentence structure of the tongue twister. How wierd is that? Aside from some bodily functions (spit, for example), that is. For a moment I thought that fan would work (I was looking at the ceiling fan), but after inputting it into said tongue twister it fell flat. How much air could a ceiling fan fan (so far so good) if a ceiling fan could fan fan (it falls apart)?

See what staying home with two toddlers will do to your brain? Of course I act like I was totally sane before leaving my career, though random, obscure thoughts crossed my cerebral horizon regularly.

Is anyone reading this? People rarely comment on my blog and being generally insecure and needing not excessive but occasional reassurances that hey I'm okay, having 0 comments on the blog makes me question my entire existence. Allright, not really, but if you feel like it, please comment. I'd love to know if it's getting read and if you like it. You don't need a google account - just post as Other or Anonymous.

Enjoy your day. I'm off to rouse the short people. Hopefully all of our summer colds will be disappearing soon. Though I hear coughing on the baby monitor as I type. As much as I don't want my kids to be sick, I confess that I don't mind the extra snuggling and affection I get when they aren't feeling the best. Of course, I don't know how the day will go if I have two toddlers needing some extra mommy love. Oh well - I'll take it!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Awwww how cute - 8/15/07

After yesterday's description of my boys as wild animals claiming territory (which given their ages of 24 months and 15 months is rather interesting), I need to share the awwwww how cute moment of the day.

When I got the boys up from their naps this afternoon we played in Kyle's room for a bit. Lately, playing means keeping each kid focused on what he's playing with instead of what the other is (not a great deal of fun, but until we're ready to set up a cage match it's necessary). I actually got the boys playing ball with each other!!! I guided it along - Grant, throw the ball to Kyle and so forth; but I never touched the ball and it actually went on for about 10 or 15 exchanges of the ball. I'd say it was definitely the high point of my day.

Grant is now taking occasional steps - usually just one or two but today he took three!

I've overdone it with my knee today. I'm feeling so much better that I actually enjoyed putting clothes in the washing machine! So now I'm off to the couch to either read or watch Top Chef.

Later,
MJ

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My robots - 8/15/07

Okay, so how, exactly, am I supposed to promote peace and harmony in my home when these two little short people aren't as interested in peace and harmony as I am? I swear they have a strategy. They'll string together several days of getting along well (translation: not biting or hitting each other) and actually playing a little bit; I am then lulled into thinking that this is how it is going to be... My wonderful children get along great and this whole parenting thing is going to be a breeze. Some parents have kids who beat each other up and constantly harrass each other. Not me, no way, no how. Mine will be the family others envy.


Have all of you experienced parents picked yourself up off the floor yet? Go ahead - I'll wait. Okay, feel better, now?

They are both hyper-focused on each other and then I think their brains turn them to robots. MUST. HAVE. KYLE'S. TOY. The last few days have turned it up a notch - now if one of them has a toy and the other one looks with even a slight glimmer of interest, the first one screams in warning. I feel like it's some wildlife special where the alpha male barks out a warning to approaching males that hey pal this is my territory. Maybe I could film them and market it to people who don't have cable.

It's been 5 weeks from my knee surgery and I finally think I've turned a corner recovery-wise! The physical therapists at the center are adding more strength exercises to my routine which have helped immensely and I'm definitely encouraged. My general outlook definitely was in need of that.

Enjoy your day. I'm off to rouse the short people.
MJ

Monday, August 13, 2007

No more pictures - 8/13/07

It’s a sad reflection on the world today that Dave and I have decided to remove all pictures of the boys from my blog. Placing them on the blog makes the pictures completely usable by anyone for any reason, as someone I know recently found out when she discovered entire myspace pages devoted to her two and five year old daughters, including over 200 pictures she had posted on her blog. Is it likely anything like that will happen? No. Is it worth the risk? Absolutely not.

Please stick with the blog as I’m still going to keep writing! Just no more pictures.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Balance - 8/10/07

Kyle's birthday party (actually more of a small family get-together) is tomorrow and I actually managed to order the cake more than 24 hours in advance. After getting an attitude from the bakery lady in May when I ordered Grant's less than 24 hours ahead about how they have 50 cakes to be ready by Saturday morning and sigh, she just didn't know how it was all going to get done. My, "Okay, so does that mean that you can or can't do it?" snapped her out of it, but I figured I'd better behave this time.

My mom is coming today for the weekend and she hasn't seen the boys in a few weeks. She's not going to believe the changes. Kyle runs around like a monkey, jumping for no reason and smiling from ear to ear; one of his favorites is to jump up, land on his butt then fling his legs up and over his head. He's saying more understandable 'words' now which is very fun to hear. Grant is now making the signs for more and airplane and loves to give kisses.

The other trick Kyle loves to do a lap through our living room and sitting room and then fling himself onto my stomach as I lay on the floor. He has taught Grant, who isn't yet walking, to step up on top of my stomach and stand. I figure with all the extra padding (fat) my tummy has, it's bound to help develop the boys' balancing skills. I could do some crunches and get it in better shape, but then what kind of parent would I be, robbing my children of such a critical developmental skill?

Enjoy your day,
Mary Jo

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Setting an example - 8/9/07

I've known this day was coming but I buried my head in the sand and pretended it was months off. I thought I was safe for a bit longer. Kyle has been mimicking me for quite some time, but it's always been the good fun stuff. I've wondered several times, "Okay, when is he going to pick up the other stuff?"

Yesterday, he copied me when I chewed my cuticle (gross, I know). I'm not a nail chewer but I can't leave my cuticles alone. He copied me one time a month ago when I was messing with a cuticle with my fingers, but he only did it once. So I suppose things must change. The chewing and the knuckle cracking (something that grosses me out when other people do it, but that doesn't bother me a bit when I do). It's a good thing I'm not a nose picker - we'd be in real trouble.

What I'd rather say is, "Son, you don't get to chew your fingers. You see, mommies are very smart and they have the mental capacity and judgment (why isn't there an e in that word?) to accurately assess when a cuticle needs specific attention. Someday when you're old enough to vote, you too will be able to make such decisions. Until then, don't."

Another double-standard I've realized is playing with food. While we let him experiment with textures and mixing up his food, we try to discourage certain things like picking up food, raising his hands and dropping it to his tray - that's just too close a step to launching it onto the floor. So I don't make a big deal of it but say, "Oh, let's not play with the food." And then two hours later, there I am at snack time with animal crackers, making them gallop across the table to take a flying leap onto his tray or into my mouth; or having two of them run towards each other and kiss. I'm just going to tell him that those antics are not playing with food; they are more along the line of educational play and Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Of course then I'd have to make them fight.

I have made the goldfish crackers eat each other which Kyle quickly took to. To let you into my messed up brain, I was sitting there thinking, "Is cannibalism only when humans eat each other or does it apply to all animals?"

Enjoy your day. I'm off to ponder cannibalism and to question why judgment isn't spelled judgement.
Mary Jo

Monday, August 6, 2007

Happy Birthday, Kyle! 8/6/07

Kyle is 2 today!!!! Happy Birthday to my little brown clown! He gives us such joy and it's so fun to watch his personality change and mature. When I first started staying home back in April, we had a rough adjustment for the first couple of months. He could barely look at Grant and when he did, it was strictly for the purpose of making sure that his teeth would make a direct hit on Grant's arm. And 'time-out' had become Kyle's middle name. Now he's only going to time-out every two or three days. BIG progress! It's fun to see the changes, especially when the changes are improvements in behavior.

My friend, Laura, and her two girls leave tomorrow to go back to NC. I wondered if seven days was too long to have four kids (three of whom are toddlers) all together and had some concerns that some or all of us would get bored, restless, cranky or just plain tired of each other. But it has been a wonderful visit and not at all too long. I'll post more pictures tomorrow. We've gotten some really cute ones of the kiddos.

It's interesting what I've read on a few of the blogs I follow lately because they've expressed some of what I've been feeling. I started my blog to hold on to my sanity right after I left my career to stay home with the kids and it definitely helped in that regard, plus Dave's parents were out of town for three months so it was a good way to help them keep up with the kids. But now the question arises... what is my blog supposed to be now that I'm adjusting to stay-at-home mommyhood? In a word, I have no idea. I think I'll just do what I did originally - type what's on my mind and hope that it is at least mildly interesting to someone. I'm open to any suggestions!

Enjoy your day,
Mary Jo